My gift is art

It all started with what happened to Dad. I was in 2nd of violin, with good grades.

My dream was to be concertmaster of a major orchestra. I wanted to make music my life. But dad died, and left us all in poverty, damn luck. I had to leave the conservatory. Yes, I was in 2nd of violin and dreamed of being a good musician.

After that, I went through occasional jobs to survive, until I had that incident. And I spent three years in prison. I swear it was not my fault. It was an accident, nothing more. Damn luck. It was not my fault.

When I was paroled, my life was in disarray. Luckily, I kept my old violin. Now I have a fixed place in the merchandise entrance of a department store. It is perfect because it echoes. In the best shopping area of Valencia. A lot of people pass by. It is a very coveted spot. They only open the door at night when I am not there.

I have to get up early because, if not, the place would have been already taken. And it's mine.

I'm not a beggar. My gift is art. Beggars hate me and they will take my site at the slightest slip. So I have to bring my own food every day, I can’t leave the place if only a moment.

Today, I would kill the bastard who did it. When I returned from the loo, the case was open. And the violin was gone.  Oh what rage burns inside of me! And I left it hidden behind boxes of beer, covered with the blanket. Damn luck. The violin is of no use for them at all! They only did it for me to leave the portal!

Today, I came back as usual. I left the case open with a few coins inside, as I always do, but nobody has dropped anything. How will they if I could not play any music because I have been stolen my violin!

And the fact is that my violin is somewhere, I can visualize it, probably intact, because they will try to sell it. God, God, God, where will it be? I spent all day waiting just in case it is just a joke. But no, no one has come. I do not know what I would have done if I catch the one who robbed me.

Yes, you may report it to the police, but I have a criminal record, who would believe me? Meanwhile, I'm still waiting. Maybe whoever it was will give it back to me tomorrow.

I have no money for a new one which would sound like mine and with no violin, I earn nothing.

I do not know what I'm going to do.

Damn luck.

A storm in the Gulf of Lyon

I would like to share you a story about a gifted and wilful person. A story of leadership and bravery that I’ll never forget. A story that began at sea.

It was a pitch-black night. We were cruising in an old 30 mt Ketch with two wooden masts, through the Gulf of Lion, in the Mediterranean, a place famous for its solid winds,

THIS BOAT

We cruised on the engine and the mizzen sail.

Gradually, a tempest started to mount.

The wind whistled in the rigging, the ship slammed against the waves and we, a group of tourists, were trying to sleep in our hammocks.

Then, out of the blue, or, shall I say, out of the black, we heard a strong sound of wood breaking and a big splash.

We went on deck and the scene sent shivers down my backbone: the mizzen mast has broken in three pieces and was floating in the dark sea with all the ropes, cables, sails and electronic equipment attached.

The boat could not be managed dragging that mess along.

Nothing is more dangerous than a vessel drifting in the middle of a storm. A wave may topple you while standing adrift; the broken mast may impact on the side of the boat and open a leak.

We could sink. We may die.

It was then, when the captain and ship-owner, Iñaki, showed us his mettle.

He probably was scared: he may lose everything he had in life: the boat where he leaved and worked, and even his own life. He may be scared, but was not afraid: he knew what to do.

First, he had to make a team out of a random group of inexpert tourists. Fear, actually, was the glue that kept the group together.

Second, he had to give a mission to this team, and the mission was clear: to lift that mess of cables on-board to make the boat free to navigate again.

Iñaki started to give orders.

The strongest in the team was launched into the dark sea and, swimming, tried to tie the bundle to four halyards from the 3 jibs and the mainsail.

He was successful.

The rest of us were assigned to pull the halyards and, centimetre by centimetre, try to raise the bundle on-board.

The task took about two hours of pulling and another 3 of clearing the mess.

In the meantime, it dawned. With blisters in our hands, drained and tired, but relieved, we were cruising again.

When we disembarked in Palamós (Girona), I said good-bye to Iñaki. His face was dismal; he had to make yet another costly repair to the boat. But, in another gesture of bravery, he said:

- I will complete the season anyhow, with a single mast. We are not racing regattas, after all.

And the moral of the story is:

“Be scared, you can’t help that, but don’t be afraid”

Mr. President tear down these walls

In 1987 the President of the US Ronald Reagan pronounced a famous speech at the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin and said a phrase that has become history: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall”.

Regan was referring to the Berlin Wall. In 1989 the Berlin wall fell.

Today I am saying to the Head of Government in Spain: “Mr. Rajoy, tear down these walls”.

I am referring to the walls that contain the immigration of foreigners into Spain (including the fences of Ceuta and Melilla).

Tear them down, as simply as that.

Why am I saying that frontiers should be open? Well, because Spain faces both a declining population problem and an ageing population PROBLEM.

These are the trends:

• in 50 years Spain will have lost 5.6 Mil of population
• In 50 years the life expectancy will grow by ten years and 30% of population will be 65 or older.

So, there will be both less people and older people.

DECLINING AND AGEING POPULATION

Declining population

The evolution of Spain's population is the outcome of an equation between the number of people who leave the country and those who enter, as well as the difference between births and deaths.

The fertility rate is 1.32 children per woman (a 2.1 rate is necessary simply to replace the current population).

As a consequence, in 50 years, for each birth there will be two deaths (230 K births vs. 560 K deaths).

On the other hand, more people are leaving the country than coming in. There is a mounting out-migration of young people.

By 2060 Spain will be home to barely 35 million people)

 Ageing population

Spain will experience ever-higher proportions of retired people relative to those working.

On the one hand, life expectancy will, in 50 years, be 10 years longer. On the other, there will be not enough newborns.

In 50 years about a third of the population will be in the range of 65 and over.

Presently two workers support one retiree. In 50 years one worker will support one retiree.

Consequence

So, a country with a shrinking population and a declining number or young workers, will somehow have to work out a plan to pay the pensions and healthcare costs and, at the same time, pay down a national debt that is rapidly approaching 100% of GDP.

Capitalism requires constant growth (K Marx)

Capitalism is based on reinvestment of today’s profits in the belief that they will generate more profits in the future, which implies that there will be growth. On the other hand, credit is the fuel that makes the economy function. And credit is based on the hope that the borrower will have future profits on the money invested to repay both the loan and the interest.

Economic reasons are important, but there also humanitarian reasons FOR TAKING ACTION

Immigration barriers are an offense to humankind. People should have the right to live where they choose. We, the developed world, have the moral obligation to host our brothers and sisters of less developed countries.

In Spain, as a first measure, we will open the borders. We will tear down the fences of Ceuta and Melilla. Mr Rajoy, tear down these walls!

The tragedy of all these Africans living in unbearable conditions in the Moroccan mountains, close to the Spanish border, should stop. We will welcome them; they are our brothers and sisters in our Lord. They should be allowed to freely enter the Spanish territory and, therefore, the EU. This will be the ultimate solution to this old problem of declining and ageing population.

At the beginning, there will be an invasion, I recognise this fact, but slowly the situation would normalise.

Solution 

 We need to encourage immigration and deter out-migration. To maintain a constant working age population (15-64 years), an average of 260.000 immigrants a year would be needed.

Instructions to climb stairs

As you may have noticed, in some places the floor often folds in such a way than a portion of it rises in right angles to the ground plane, and then the next part is placed parallel to this plane, to give way to a new perpendicular.

This pattern is repeated in spiral or broken lines to various heights.

If you bend over and put your right hand in one of the vertical parts and the left in the corresponding horizontal, you are holding a step.

Each one of the steps formed, as you can see by two elements, is placed slightly upwards and forwards of the preceding one, a principle that gives rise to the stairs. Any other combination may produce fancy or picturesque alternatives, but it will be unable to take you from the ground floor to the first floor.

Stairs are to be climbed up front because if you climb them backwards or sideways it is particularly uncomfortable.

The natural attitude is to stand up, your arms hanging down effortlessly, head up, but not so much as to lose sight of the following steps, breathing slowly and regularly.

To climb stairs you have to raise this part of your body situated to the right downwards, normally covered with leather or cloth which, normally, fits into the step.

You put that right part which, for short, we’ll call it foot, on the first step, then you gather the equivalent part on the left, which shouldn’t be mistaken with the other part and, taking it to the height of the foot, you place it in the next step.

First steps are always the most difficult, until you acquire the necessary coordination.

The coincidence of the words foot and foot makes the explanation difficult.

Take special care in not raising, at the same, time foot and foot.

Once you have reached the second step, it is sufficient to repeat alternatively the movements until you reach the end of the stairs.

You then exit graciously from the stairs with a strike of your heel which fixes them in its place, from which they won’t move until the moment of descent arrives.

 (inspired by Julio C)

Dreams

I’d like to start by posing a question. Do you dream at night?

Yes?

Dreaming is good because:

-      you cannot commit any sin;

-      you can do extraordinary things with your body;

-      you can meet the girl of your dreams, do extraordinary things with her and, still… do not commit any sin.

Are your dreams normal or do you have strange dreams sometimes?

Strange?

The other day I had a very strange dream… well, I’ll tell you:

I was in a public park and…, I was in a public park and… I don’t remember anything else…

It happens to me all the time… I forget my dreams…

¿Does it happen to you?

On the one side, is better that I forget my dreams because, on one occasion I told the psychiatrist about my dreams and he recommended me “special treatment”. Which I don’t know if it means that I should be “treated with special care” or, so to speak, that I needed a “specialised medical treatment”… I don’t remember which one. Like the dreams… ,like the pills that I forget if I took them or not...

But, what do we dream? (When we remember…)

Strange as it may seem, all my dreams are related to flying:

That I fly, that I have the fly open, that I cannot fly, that I kill people on the fly, that I fly over stormy waters and, finally, that strange ideas fly over my mind.

1. That I fly

I dream that I soar against the wind open my arms and start flying. I am a vulture, a rapacious predator. What could this dream mean? Probably it means that what they say of us, lawyers, is true: we are all vultures.

2. That I have the fly open in front of an audience

Last night, I dreamed just that. I was in front of the contest judges with my fly open. What was the meaning of that dream? that I feared exposing my brains. This is, you know the place where women think we, men, have the brains.

3. That I are paralyzed and cannot fly from the place I am

If you dream that you are paralyzed and cannot move, you may feel unable to deal with a situation in real life.

The situation requires you to run, but you can’t move. It’s distressing. Imagine, the girl of your dream tells you come … come...! and you cannot move an inch.

4. That I kill my in-laws on the fly

OK, that’s not wrong because, experts say, that whenever we kill someone in dreams, we are in fact saving his life. That’s why I wake up happy every morning, knowing I have saved the life of all these lovely relatives. I am particularly happy the night after Christmas when I run out of ammunition.

5. That I fly over stormy waters

It means, experts say, that you are facing difficult situations. That is a sophisticated way of saying that you are about to wet your bed, to piss yourself. Actually, the difficult situation you are really facing is how to wake up and get to the loo quickly.

6. That the doubt “Am I asleep or awake?” flies above my mind

Three big questions:

-      What if nothing is real and all my life is a dream and I am dreaming within my dream?

-      What if I am dreaming right now and you, fellow toastmasters, are a product of my imagination?

-      What if I this is not a Toastmasters Contest, but a meeting of Alcoholics Anonimous?

Well, since I am sure, this is a Toastmasters meeting, I’d like to finish with a toast because, what kind of Toastmasters is this if there are no toasts?

“If the wine is cheap, we sleep. If we sleep, we don’t cheat. If we don’t cheat, in the heaven we meet. And, if we are going to heaven, let’s drink till eleven”.

In waders

I am going to tell you the story of how I became an in-wader.

Understand me, I’ve not invaded anything. I’ve only been in waders, a kind of high waterproof boots or pants worn for walking or standing in deep water, specially when fishing.

It was one summer in the Benasque valley (Huesca) where I decided to try fly-fishing.

Yeah, fly fishing, an interesting sport for old people, like me. Quiet, in contact with nature, relaxing...

So, I hired a professional fisherman, Chema, who runs a rural hotel called La Casa del Río (lacasadelrio.com) for a day of lessons.

The theory of fly fishing goes like this: at a certain time of the day, given the apropriate meteorological conditions, flying insects go to the river to drink.

Perhaps you never thought of it but cows do it, birds do it and, as the song goes, “even educated fleas do it”.

A fly floating freely on the current is, for a trout swimming below, like an appetizer fallen directly from heaven.

With a mighty leap, the trout snaps the fly literally in the blink of an eye.

As the trout are predators to the flies, the naked ape, that is, ourselves, are predators to the trouts, which we like to eat fried, for instance, with ham (called “a la navarra”).

So, in its ingenuity, the naked ape has invented the artificial fly made of feathers, fur and other materials tied into a hook, to catch the hungry trout.

So, there we went, Chema and I, to the the river Ésera with all the appropriate equipment. We were the fishermen, the anglers. And we were in-waders.

People say that anglers "do it standing up", but, the first thing I discovered was how difficult was to stand up in a river full of boulders and with a strong current.

The fishing rod is very short and the line is composed of two materials, a kind of plastic strip which floats with the fly at the end and the rest of the line which is made of ordinary nylon.

This combined line has some special characteristic: it tangles very easily with anything, with itself, with branches, with rocks, with everything.

So, there I was, trying to keep my equilibrium in the riverbed boulders with my long boots, my rod, and my walking cane, prepared to throw the line for the first time.

To throw the line properly is about 90 % of the success, but believe me, is not a movement with which you get familiar with easily, like, for instance signing a cheque. It requires a quick wrist movement like this...

So we tried that first. My wrist movements were poor. “No, it’s not like that, swift but gentle, too short, too long, etc...”

Then, you realise that you don’t see the fly floating on the water, at all. If you don’t see the fly floating, you don’t see the trout snapping the bait, if it happens.

Supposing you cast the line with the right wrist movement, that the line does not entangle and that the fly falls in the appropriate place, and that you see it floating. Then, you realise how fast the fly goes past you. Yes, because, you know, the water is flowing.

When the fly goes past you, you have to lift it out of the water quickly, and with another deft wrist movement, cast it up stream again.

So it’s is a game of cast and retrieve, cast and retrieve. Tangle and disentangle. All this, standing up and being careful not to fall into the river, because a wave of cold water into your pants will ruin the expedition.

The flies are supposed to be dry. Because flies go to the river to drink, BUT THEY DON’T GO TO TAKE A BATH. So you are not expected to foul a trout with a wet fly, do you?

So you have to check your fly often, and dry it with a special powder for it to float properly. A task that my instructor did.

The hours passed and I didn’t catch any trout. Then, suddenly, a trout bit the hook and I rised it in triunph. When I thought we were going to prepare it “a la navarra” in the evening, my instructor told me that, this was a catch and release area and I had to return the trout back to the river.

Everyone knows that fishermen lie about the size or their catch. Mine was, well like this… Well, like this… Well, the size doesn’t matter. What was big was my smile after having caught the first trout in my life.

All I can tell you is that if all my dinner for the day would have been that trout, I would have been very hungry…

So that is the story of how I became in waders.

The scorpion and the frog

Ask a bunch of people if a person can change, and you will get various answers.  Some will say of course people can change, others will say that no, in fact one cannot change our true selves.  I tend to agree with the latter.

I will tell you a story. In my profession I have met many business partners. Some get along well together, some will break up. I remember now two guys, let’s call them David and Xavier, both doctors, who went to college together, spent long nights hunting emotions together and, yes, got into business together..  Xavier was the typical good-for-nothing guy. His nature made him lazy, irresponsible and he disliked discipline. But, as David said,

- He is my friend.

They decided to get into a hotel business and Xavier was assigned one of the establishments.

As a first measure, he hired a well paid Director General to do the job that he was supposed to do. He organised extravagant dinners, I remember one consisting only of ice creams (of olive oil, or cucumber, for instance). He  organised painting expositions and coral concerts. With all these events and festivities he forgot marketing and finance.

Finally he made the ruined the business and both partners had to face bankruptcy. But, finally, as Xavier he had nothing to respond with, so David wore the burden alone.

David finally recovered from the failed business, but Xavier never found anything to settle on.

This incident reminds me of the fable of the scorpion and the frog

“A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp

- "Why?"

-Replies the scorpion -"It’s my nature..."

The fable is used to illustrate the position that the natural behaviour of some creatures is inevitable, no matter how they are treated and no matter what the consequences.

Moral: never be the frog